Unsaid
by NightlyEvilTM
Summary: An alternative take on 8x03 "How, how can I tell you all that I want to say?"


He turns around with the intention to just look around. But then, with just the corner of his eye, he sees her. He doesn't realize he had moved, his brother's voice distant. There she is, observing the training. The training for a battle neither of them is likely to survive.

Slowly, he goes to her. She is observing Podrick. He can see her smiling, proud of what her squire has accomplished. But when she senses his presence, she stops smiling.

_You should never stop smiling, Brienne. _

"**Ser Jaime" **

There is some tension in the way she addresses him. He wishes she would just drop the formalities.

_After all that we've been through, I am just Jaime. To you, Brienne, I am just Jaime. _

"**Lady Brienne"**

He looks at Pod. He almost smiles when he sees her teaching in the way the boy hold his sword, in the way he moves.

"**He's come a long way"**

_Because of you, because you taught him, because you were the best example he could have. _

"**He's alright. Still has a lot to learn."**

She turns to leave. He follows her – the pull is just too strong. And there is so much he wants to say to her.

"**I am sure you'll teach him."**

She keeps walking. Maybe she is avoiding him. But he just can't let her go.

"**I've been told you're commanding the left flank"**

"**I am. It's a good ground. The rise, it should give us some advantage. If we keep a tight formation we might be able to beat them back."**

He looks the direction she showed him and he agrees with her.

Suddenly, she turns around.

"**What are you doing?"**

There is anger in her question. He looks at her, wondering what he has done.

"**I think you know."**

"**I truly don't"**

"**We've never had a conversation last this long without you insulting me, not once."**

There is anger and confusion in her voice, in her eyes.

_Because it was easier to insult you than to face what was right in front of me. _

"**You want me to insult you?"**

"**No!"**

"**Good!"**

He stares at her.

_How, how do I tell you all that I want to say?_

He turns his eyes away.

"**I came to Winterfell because…"**

He looks at her again.

_Because of you. _

_Because you are everything I've ever dreamed I could be. _

_Because you believed in me when no one else did._

_Because I couldn't let you go in that battle without being right next to you and trying to protect you. _

_Because you are everything to me. _

But he can't tell her that. He has no right to.

"**I am not the fighter I used to be. But I'll be honored to serve under your command if you'll have me."**

She looks at him. Her eyes are like the deep waters around Tarth, and piercing at the same time. She nods somewhat nervously.

_Thank you for having me._

_Thank you for vouching for me. _

_Thank you for changing me. _

That's what he wants to say.

**"I've got to get back."**

But he says nothing as he watches her walk away.

* * *

They fought side by side. They saved each other more than once. But when they were pushed to the walls, it seemed like they were going to die anyway.

Until it all stopped.

Suddenly, the dead dropped as one on the ground. For a few moments, everything was completely still. And then the realization came.

They did it, they won.

He looked at her and smiled. He could see the tiniest smile on her face, too. He started walking. He had to go to her. He had to pull her in his arms as he thanked the Gods that she survived. There she was, just one step more, and he would hold her.

And then he felt the world started to spin, his legs crumbled. He dropped on his knees. He touched his side and felt the blood pouring.

Suddenly, she was there, on her knees next to him. He looked at her. In all the fire, blood and sweat, her eyes shined like true sapphires.

**"Ser Jaime, hold on. Pod, get some help, now!"**

He could feel himself falling. She took him in her arms, she tried to stop the blood from his side. But he knew it was not going to stop.

**"Brienne…"**

**"Don't talk, save your strength, ser Jaime."**

**"Just Jaime. Please, call me Jaime"**

_Please, just once let me be just Jaime, and you just Brienne. Just you and me. _

**"It's gonna be alright, Jaime"**

She was crying.

_Don't you know I am not worth a drop of your tears? _

_Don't you know I would turn the world around if it means you never cry again? _

**"Don't cry, Brienne. Please, I never want to see you cry. I want to see you smile, hear you laugh."**

_I've never heard you laugh. And now, I am never going to. _

She was trying to smile through her tears as she caressed his face.

**"We will laugh together, you just hold on."**

_In another life, we will. _

_We will laugh, and we will dance, and we will love. _

_But not in this one. _

**"It's alright, Brienne. I am ready."**

**"No, you are not dying."**

With the last of his strength, he puts his hand on hers.

**"I am, but I dying just the way I always wanted to die"**

_It was meant to be this way, Brienne. _

**"In the arms of the woman I love"**

He feels meets her eyes one last time.

**"I love you, Jaime. I always have and I always will."**

He smiles.

_I love you too. _


End file.
